John Thune (R-SD) ┬áis an idiot. He suggests that instead of the stimulus, we just send everyone a check! Why didn’t any of those “economists” think of that, eh? Free money for everyone! 5 grand (what Thune has calculated we can give every tax-payer) doesn’t go that far when you don’t have a job, like 10-15 percent of Americans. And apparently Tom Coburn (R-OK) has something against swimming pools? More to come…

Update: Aww, John McCain (R-AZ) stands up for his BFF Lindsey Graham (R-SC) and makes sure he gets 5 minutes instead of a minute and a half. Graham says, “I don’t have anything Earth-shattering to say.” No shit.

Update 2: If Graham says “bipartisanship” one more time…

Update 3: Lamar Alexander (R-TN) has a big sign on the floor that says “First, fix the problem: Housing.” Housing isn’t the problem, it’s a symptom of a deeply flawed economic system. He’s also whining about bipartisanship. Sometimes it’s like I live in a parallel universe. To him, bipartisanship is a 50-50 split, which really means a 20-80 split. Sorry, you lost. Ask nicely, and Sen. Reid won’t beat you unconscious with a gavel. That’s change I can believe in.

Update 4: Oh shit, John Kerry (D-MA) throws down the gauntlet and brings up the last eight years and how Republicans fucked everything up in the first place. The difference between listening to someone like Coburn and Kerry is absurd, it’s the difference between listening to the kid in the back of the class who wasn’t really listening and a tenured professor. Kerry actually knows what he’s talking about. It’s soothing. Now he’s very mad about housing. He’s eloquent, informed and passionate. Where was this Kerry when we needed him?

Update 5: Things Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) doesn’t like: ACORN, poor people, minorities. Things David Vitter does like: prostitutes.

Update 6: You know how I know Lindsey Graham doesn’t actually want to protect families from foreclosure? Because of this.